Heyo!

Today is the 10th of March. This means a couple things.

1. My credit card bills are due Friday. I hate paying those stupid things. Mostly I just hate having debt. Of course I love the things I got from using my credit cards...like a trip to Chicago, pairs of shoes that I will probably never actually wear (though they are gorgeous, and I love them as much as I will love my first born), and plenty of faboosh clothes--particularly a pair of dark-wash skinny jeans that I wear with boots. Now, many women would balk at having an ass the size of mine and wearing jeans that don't exactly flatter such an overwhelming caboose. I, however, have changed my fashion philosophy quite a bit since my days as a body-hiding, middle-aged-clothing-wearing, fashion-retarded teenager. Frankly, as long as I'm covering everything up that needs to be covered and all things considered grotesque are clothed, I'm going to wear whatever I want...including skinny jeans and boots. SO anyway...credit cards...I hate em.

2. Saint Patrick's day is a mere week away. I'm 21 now...therefore I am pretty pumped for next Tuesday. I am also, for all intents and purposes, Irish. I also have red hair and a clover on my ankle. St. Patty's Day should by all means be my favorite holiday. Considering the large amount of beer I will imbibe a week from today, I think it just may be. I'd like to think of myself as someone who kind of separates herself from the bar scene...like I go to bars, but I'm totally aloof. While people make drunken fools of themselves deciding who they want to go home with and work out their insecurities in meaningless sex, I am contemplating the role of alcohol in society and how I can do economics research on cosmopolitans. Of course this aloof stage lasts for about one hour as I soon join the drunken herd looking for some sort of emotional validation through a miscellaneous sexual encounter or some type of weird heart-to-heart with the girls in the bathroom. I don't think anyone has to guess which activity I get my drunken validation from (hint: it involves no physical contact and it usually involves the phrase "Girl, you are better than that. Don't let him use you.")

3. It's the second week after month end at Daktronics. Usually this is the week I am busting my butt working on getting reports together for all the manufacturing plants. However, my reports have been snatched from me. My boss' boss has handed over my pride and joy to another accountant. I knew the day would come. I am not staying at Dak forever (thank God!). I still feel remorse. Its like someone took away a paper I wrote and published it with their name on it. Its so silly! I made spreadsheets...the product of Excel and lots of time. They are numbers and colors and formulas....completely inanimate. There is nothing about these things that shows my personality or is in anyway reflective of who I am as a person, but I still feel really invested in them. No one else should be able to touch them...so apparently through this process I've discovered I am territorial? I thought that was something only male lions on the Sahara dealt with, but apparently twenty-something redheaded college students with an affinity for plaid and celebrity gossip also have these issues.

4. I'm starting lent a week or so late. Every year (ok....three months) I have some type of mini-breakdown. It can be initiated by a million things---a bad grade, fight with a friend or family member, a book series (cough-Twilight-cough), a conversation, etc. Anything can bring this little force of nature into being. Whatever the impetus is, the result is me making some change in my lifestyle. Last time, it involved getting professional help, this time....it just involves setting a few things straight in my life. It involves figuring out what in the world I want out of these years God has so graciously given me and how I plan on going about making it happen. As stated before, I really have issues with the whole "action" part of life. Anyone close to me can animatedly agree and list off five or six scenarios where I have failed to act because of laziness or apathy. In going through this process I have to get rid of distractions, and that is what Lent will be about for me this year. So, this means...gulp...no more emotional crutches, no deluding myself into thinking something is what it isn't, no more pawning after guy(s) who aren't interested (it's a waste of my time and theirs), no more distractions. Cutting the fat (so to speak--a phrase I detest), is really the only way to get my priorities straight. I have been coasting for way too long, and I have some major changes coming (Baylor!) that require me to get my shit figured out. It is time to do something...anything but sit and think. I think Logic and I are going to give it another go...just because things didn't work out last time doesn't mean they won't now.

5. I think something with basketball happens in March. (I needed a number five...)